The Small Moments

All in a day

Thursday afternoon my world changed.

We received word that the woman who was offered the job for one of our science positions had accepted a job at Nathan's school.  It makes sense...she graduated from there.

Then right before the retirement reception for one of our school counselors our science department head tells me that she had turned in her resignation and accepted a job teaching elementary science in the district.

I have known for awhile that I will get to move up to 8th grade science next year.  I am happy about that because I have always wanted to teach 8th grade science.  But now I will also be in charge...head of the department.  Which means I will be in charge of the science part of a grant our school is writing.  We have at least 3 out of 6 positions to hire for next year now.  And there may be a 4th position if one of our other science teachers gets a coaching job. 

It seems to me that gradual life changes are very uncommon.  Most changes in life are sudden and surprising.  The gradual part comes in adjusting to those changes.

The excitement keeps building

In 51 days I will be waiting in line for the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

I understand that I am quite a Harry Potter freak.  I have read and/or listened to the books more times than I can count.  I visit MuggleNet daily (a Potter fan site).  I listen to MuggleCast (a Potter weekly pod cast).  I own two MuggleNet t-shirts that say "Swish and Click".  My computer wall paper is Harry Potter.  I own the movies.  I have watched the movies more times than I can count.  I cannot convey to you with mere words how much I LOVE. HARRY. POTTER.

MuggleNet has 6 new clips up that I am guessing will start being shown on TV as commercials.  How can you watch the clips and not be totally excited?  Every time I watch the trailer (yes I do watch it regularly) I feel the excitement well up inside of me.  The 5th movie looks SO AWESOME.  Here is the link.  You have to watch the clips. 

OH. MY. GOD.  I. CANNOT. WAIT!

Beauty is painful

My mom and I had hair appointments with my stylist today.  I love my stylist.  She is awesome.  I have been going to her since last August and when my mom colored her hair and it all went wrong I took her to my stylist.  So now my mom goes too.  We make our appointments for the same time and go together.

Mom got colored tonight.

I needed a cut. 

While Virginia (my stylist) was washing my hair she asked, "So...have you ever had your eyebrows waxed?"  I replied with a small laugh and, "No...but I was thinking all day about asking you about it."  She said "GREAT!  We will do it now."

Oh crap.

So I moved seats to the waxing station.  Thank goodness she didn't warn me.  I probably would have flinched and messed the whole thing up.  Waxing hurts.  It hurts like hell.  And it wasn't just two simple little pulls...oh no...apparently because I am a "Waxing Virgin" (her description) it took much more than that.

But now...after all the redness and puffiness is gone I love it!

And I have a great haircut.

I love my stylist!

Giving myself some credit

I received my evaluation today.  Each year we get evaluated under a system called PDAS.  I can't really remember what it stands for...we have so many acronyms in education.  But it doesn't matter.  Basically we get scored on a bunch of different areas.  Here is the link I looked up...and it stands for Professional Development and Appraisal System.  If you are super interested in how teachers in Texas are evaluated you can read about it on that site.  It is so very fascinating.

I got a near perfect score.  I received a Proficient in 2 domains and an Exceeds Expectations in all the rest.  "Great!" you say.  It is supposed to be near impossible to get an Exceeds Expectations.  In the 5 years I have been teaching I have always received almost perfect scores of Exceeds Expectations in all the domains.  So much so, that my overall score is always Exceeds Expectations.

So am I a super amazing teacher that should be featured in national news?  Probably not.  Mainly the PDAS is a big joke.  Much like the evaluation system before the PDAS and much like anything that will come after it.  Principals just don't have time to focus on teacher evaluations.  They are busy with other things like discipline and paperwork.  Principals know who is doing their job and who isn't.  They have department heads for a reason.  They know which teachers show up on time and which ones are late.  They know who is teaching and who isn't.  PDAS is a formality.

So why am I writing about my perfect scores?  I don't know.  I was trying to sleep and I couldn't.  I had a blog post roaming my thoughts and I needed to get it out.  The point of my post is this...I don't give myself enough credit for the job that I do.

My mom says that I never give myself credit for my successes.  And she isn't alone.  I am surrounded by family and friends say the same thing.  The problem is with me.  I never think that I am doing enough.  And if I am doing enough then I am not doing as good a job as I could do.  Nothing is ever good enough or right enough.  I am my own worst critic.  On the day I do show a video because I need some time to catch up on paperwork (like grading) I feel guilty that I am not teaching something.  When I am home sick with a migraine I am probably making my headache worse by being frustrated that I am wasting time at home when I need to be reviewing a hard topic.  I beat myself up constantly.  I need better activities.  I need to find a new lab.  I need to go back over a hard topic.  I need to stand over so-and-so and get him to turn in work so he doesn't fail the six weeks. 

Why am I so hard on myself?  I think it is because of that fine line between being boastful and being humble.  I don't walk around school telling people how many tutorials I held last week.  I don't tell people I am great at what I do. (Well I do tell some people, but they have to be very trusted friends and family who know that I am not being proud.)

How do you know when you cross the line of being accepting and honest about your abilities to being proud and boastful?  It seems easier to just focus on what you don't do well and try to find ways to get better.

The other reason I think I am so hard on myself is because I know that I am not perfect.  I want to get better.  I am a life-long learner.  There is always a better way.  Kids are always changing and we have to find ways to change with them and reach them.  I am afraid of becoming complacent and therefore becoming ineffective. 

So I am hard on myself.  I mention the good things and the successes to people but when they comment or congratulate I brush it off.  And I think when I do that it makes some people, like my mom, frustrated.

Therefore, tonight, here in my blog, I am going to give myself a little credit.

Maybe I do deserve those "Exceeds Expectations."  I do work very hard at my job.  I offer tons of tutorials.  I talk with my kids and I truly like them.  So many teachers hate their students.  I don't.  I don't even hate the ones that irritate me.  Sure they irritate me...but they are kids.  And even the irritating kids have good days sometimes.  And those days are as good as gold.  I laugh with my kids.  Sometimes we goof off together for a few minutes.  They tell me a story or a joke.  They confide in me and tell me something serious...or something silly.  They seek me out in the hall to say hi.  They are happy to see me if I have been out.  They think I am nice...even when I am hard on them.  I loan them money.  Sometimes they pay me back.  They tell me about their football plays.  They share their excitement of earning "Commended" on the TAKS test....or their excitement of just passing.  I give out more pencils and pens and paper than I should...even when I tell them that next time I won't be so nice.  I email their parents with grade updates so they won't be grounded.  I smile when I ask them to tuck in their shirts for the one millionth time this year.  Sometimes I write them up...

I do make a difference in their lives, if only for a few short moments.  I make them smile.  I make them laugh.  I have even at times made them cry.....sometimes we need feel bad for something we did.  We have to learn empathy.  We have to learn that sometimes we really did do something wrong and we should feel bad about it.  But then I always smile and tell them that I know that they will do better because I have seen them at their best. 

My job isn't always easy.  Some days I dread it.  Some days I wouldn't change for millions of dollars.  But maybe, just maybe, I do Exceed Expectations.  But I don't really need to shout it from the roof top.  I am content to see it on that evaluation form.  PDAS may be a load of crap...but the perfectionist in me would be devastated to see anything less.

The end

7 years ago I found a funny and witty drama on the WB.  Gilmore Girls.  I have watched it since the very first show.  Tonight I watched the very last show.

Very rarely do I make it through an entire run of a show.  Either I don't get in on it in the beginning or I get bored with it long before it ends.  But with Gilmore Girls it was different.  The show and the characters hooked me and kept me coming back.  Even through the last 2 seasons when the show wasn't as great as the first years.  Even when the characters didn't seem true to their original selves.  Through it all I kept watching.

And tonight it ended.  I cried.  It is more than just the end to a show for me.  I was in such a different place in my life when I first started watching.  I was 23 when the show started and in my second year of teaching.  Life was so different.  7 years later I have a Master's degree and a husband and a house.  I have lived in Virginia, far away from everything I have known, and survived it.  I have grown and changed. 

So while it seems kind of silly to be so emotional and find something deep from something so simple...I do. 

New Cell Phone

I have patiently waited since January to get a new phone.  Mine crapped out and I wasn't going to stay with Cingular and I wasn't going to pay to break the contract.  So we were lucky and found an unused compatible phone in the family and I have "made do" since then.

But is has been miserable!  It was so embarrassing to have such and old and technology-poor phone.  Especially since I am such a techno freak!

So we called on Saturday morning.  Our contract officially ran out on Friday.  We left for Verizon less than 5 minutes later.  I was SO excited!

Even better, our school district had sent an email on Friday giving us a 15%-25% discount with Verizon.  AWESOME!

It didn't take long to decide.  Nathan really wanted V-Cast so he could watch ESPN highlights on his phone.  He also wanted to be able to check radar when he is on the field.  After a year of prodding I finally convinced him that he needed more than just the basic phone!

So now...we have matching phones...kinda dorky I know.  But they are SO awesome!  We both have V-Cast.  And mine also has navigation capabilities.  Nathan thinks that this buys him some time in buying me an actual navigation unit for the car.  :)

Here is a picture of our new phones.  The funny thing is that I think Nathan is more hooked than I am.  He sat and figured out V-Cast before me and insisted on setting it up on my phone.  I let him.  He was so excited that I just couldn't say no.  Slowly but surely I am bringing my husband over to the dark side with me!  ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pied again

Friday was our 2nd annual May Fest celebration at school.  We have food and a dance and tons of carnival games.  There is a cake walk, a ring toss, a balloon toss, a dunking booth, several bounce houses, and the pie-a-teacher booth.

I am the teacher who gets pied.  For two hours I heckle and tell them they don't have aim.  For two hours kids throw shaving cream filled pie pans at my face.  It is a great time.  Most people think I am crazy.  But I love it.  It is fun and messy and the kids really like to throw shaving cream pies at me.  And the LOVE it when someone hits me dead center.  They think it is hilarious!  :)

Someone took some pictures....but here is a link to my old blog with a picture from last year.

Another great debate

I read Andrea's blog everyday.  She has an amazing blog and I love it.  I have referred to her blog before, like when I gave up Internet for a week and the great Valentine PIF.  Today she posted about one of the debates among the parenting community. 

DVD players in the car.  You can read her post here.  She is going to be on a radio program in Canada debating the issue.

While we are not parents yet this debate has been discussed in our home at length.  Nathan wants me to get a minivan.  I don't want a minivan.  Lots of reasons that I won't discuss in this post.  Anyway...most of the minivans he convinced me to look at come standard with DVD players.  I REFUSE to have an installed DVD player in ANY car that I drive.  This is kind of funny if you know me.  I love anything tech.  The more gadgets I have the better.  And the more functions those gadgets...well that is just pure ecstasy!  But a DVD player in the car is something I can and will do without.

I realize that I am not a mom yet.  And I realize that some of my friends who have children and read this blog do have a DVD player or laptop that their child/children can watch.  And I also realize that my views about all of this may change when I have a child one day.  However, here is my current view and my reasoning.

Nathan would love to have a DVD player in the car.  I refuse to have one.  As you can see we are completely at odds about this.  But I have held my ground.  Who will be driving the kids 99% of the time?  Me.  Who thinks we already watch too much TV as it is?  Me.  Who is going to be the one to limit TV time for the kids?  Me again.  Who would have to deal with the annoying pleading to watch a DVD or TV show on the DVD player as we traveled through traffic across town?  You guessed it...ME!  And I would have to listen to the pleading and whining because Nathan would totally give in to them.  I would be the mean parent who says no.  I do not want to deal with that.  I think they should only be used for REALLY long trips, like 5 hours or more.  Nathan's family lives just across the Texas/Oklahoma border.  At best that is a 2 hour drive.  My family lives here in town with my parents living less than 5 minutes from our front door.  We really have no REAL need for a DVD player in the car.

Besides that, I don't want the temptation.  I have seen how easy it is to plop your child down in front of the TV with "educational" TV.  We did it all last summer with Ava.  And while there were some HUGE extenuating circumstances....it was still way too easy.  And then the child gets used to it and starts expecting it.  Ava did.  And we were all so busy with other things that we gave in way too much.  And Carole and Britt weren't the only ones at fault, Nathan and I gave in alot too.  None of us were happy or proud about it, it just kinda happened.  And I see now that I am going to have a huge battle myself when we have children.  That Verizon Fios VOD is way too easy.  Blue's Clues, Dora, Deigo...all at the touch of a button, anytime of day, whenever the child wants!  So I don't want the option to plop them in the car and turn on a "show".  Sometimes days are rough.  And if a show is not even an option then I won't be tempted.  I am not saying there won't be moments when I would really love to give in.  But the point is that I don't WANT to give in.  I would rather us sit quietly and chill out as we drive, or we could talk, or sing loud and silly, or any number of things.

I teach school.  I see too many children who never, NEVER talk with their parents.  Or maybe I should say that their parents don't talk to them.  Sure they tell them to clean their room or get off the phone.  But they don't TALK to their kids.  Today I sat in 4th period and talked to a group of 5 girls.  We talked about all kinds of things.  They asked me questions about college.  We talked about whether I liked dogs and what kind.  We talked about when is too young to have babies.  The conversation was all over the place.  When the bell rang one of the girls said, "It was really fun to just talk to you.  Thanks!"  These kids are starved for attention.  Every conversation doesn't have to be some huge earth-shattering conversation with your child.  The point is to just talk about whatever comes up.  While I work with preteens and teens I don't think it is much different with smaller children.  I drove Ava around some this last summer.  We would talk about what we saw.  We would sing songs together.  I would ask her questions.  It was fun.

So maybe I am still a naive non-parent.  But I do know kids.  I am around them EVERY day.  I am the person who takes the less popular path.  I am going to have a non-medicated birth at a Birth Center with a mid-wife.  I am going to use cloth diapers.  I am going to breast feed for as long as I think necessary.  And I am not going to have a permanently installed DVD player in my car.  And I don't see us getting a portable one either.  Call me crazy or stupid or naive.  But sometimes the traditional ways of doing things are bad or wrong.  They might require more effort or time.  They might require planning.  But I think my children will be worth that.  And when you work with the current generation of children you begin to wonder if the "new way of doing things" is really a good way.  Or maybe it is just the easy way. 

And to paraphrase from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire..."A time may come where you have to choose between what is right and what is easy...." 

My two cents, for what they are worth.

If only I could clone myself

Today was a hectic day.  Rina (the other 7th grade science teacher) was out at a meeting today.  She was actually in the building, just not in class.  She had a sub. 

It started bad.  Her first two classes are honors and were horrible.  I went in at the start of lunch and he was ready to leave right then.  I convinced him to stay by saying I would come in at the first of each class and help get them started.  4th period seemed to be going better.  But at the end of 4th something happened.  I am not sure of the details but it involved a female student.  He did make the point to come into my room and tell me his side of the story.  His side sounded weird to me...the student he was talking about would not act in such a way.  I know, I taught her for a semester last  year.

5th period was so bad I sent an 8th grader for a principal.  At the beginning of 6th a different administrator came down the hall.  He was being asked to leave.  The issue from 4th had exploded and his strange story appeared to be a farce.

So two teachers split 6th period, each covering half.  The 7th period came.  Rina's meeting was over and they were going to ask her to come back to class.  Only no one bothered to tell her that.  There was no one to cover.  So I taught her class and my class.  Well...actually I made sure her class was working and taught my class.  I just walked back and forth.  Both classes were amazing.  They really were on their best behavior and it was so easy for me to do both.

However, it would have been nice to clone myself for the afternoon.  Oh well, I survived.  Thank goodness for my chiropractic appointment today!

The wall came tumbling down

Wednesday they finished bricking another wall in our neighborhood.

Wednesday a line of extreme storms blew through North Texas.  And along with the storms came 80-100 mph winds.  Straight line winds.

I blew the new brick wall down.

Thank goodness we cut down that tree in the backyard.  I don't think it would have made it.

Oh...and there was another small tornado about 5 miles north of where we live.  Two tornadoes in our community in one season.  Not to mention the many tornadoes in all of North Texas this spring.  But two less than 5 miles away from our home.  A little too close to comfort for me!